Null Pointer

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We spoke yesterday of nothing.
Today the silence resonates and decays in an instant.
I haven’t eaten a thing in hours . . .

I walked here. My ankle throbs.
Every beating heart in this vast place goes on
of its own ulterior motive.
I could die here . . . or anywhere.

There are so many things that I will never say.
People continue to move in obscure patterns
oblivious to all the strange and beautiful
thoughts around them dancing, energetic, luminous
yet invisible perhaps forever . . .

I can’t decide.
Some days every bit of food tastes like
a vague, fleshy wetness if not an artifice
of flavor and texture.
I only know that I want something
but not anything . . .

Some stories cannot be told
because we’d destroy our capacity
to live and flourish if we believed them.

I had to tell you that I was thankful
(in so many words) before I left that day
even if you didn’t understand me then.
But later at home
I ate in silence.
 
 

Contrary to Popular(?) Belief

One of the greatest and most succinct pieces of advice–“Be yourself!”–also is inherently contradictory. It both attempts to affect another person’s behavior while simultaneously advising against being influenced by other people.

This is essential humanity. We are born dependent. We are social creatures our whole lives. We fear dying alone . . .

Yet we are strongest as full individuals, unique and authentically autonomous.

The tension between these two opposing ideals defines so much of the human experience. We must love ourselves, love others, and be loved–a truly monumental task to set ourselves to.

I say this knowing you probably shouldn’t listen to me or cannot hear me among the million voices in the opinionated crowd. But it is who I am . . .
 
 

Aka Buzzfeed Quiz

Can I Guess Your Religion by Your Answers to These Five Questions?

You may be skeptical but I’d wager it can be done. Just answer A, B, C, D, or E below. And no none-of-the-above’s or what-have-you. That’s cheating.

 

bfq-1

A. Franz Kafka

B. Lizzie Borden

C. Gretel (but not Hansel)

D. The guy who invented the trebuchet

E. Jesus

 

bfq-2

A. Cinder block

B. Sieve

C. Wax warmer

D. Dyson’s sphere

E. 100-foot tall statue of Jesus

 

bfq-3

A. Six

B. 2i + 1

C. Eleventeen

D. The cosmological constant

E. Jesus

 

bfq-4

A. New Brunswick

B. San Bernadino

C. One of the Maldives

D. Seven miles off the coast of Laos

E. The comforting arms of Jesus

 

bfq-5

A. The soul gravitates from darkness to light

B. The primordial soup bubbled over into trees and dinosaurs and stuff

C. Everything is an illusion of the mind including the mind itself

D. That cake isn’t going to bake itself.

E. Jesus

 

bfq-r

 

Judging by your answers I’d say that you’re either a Born-again Christian or just some weirdo who likes taking quizzes. Amirite?