I’m a Recipe Blogger Now

word-salad

Ingredients

57 Nouns
23 Verbs
7 Punctuation Marks
3 Conjunctions
14 Pronouns
33 Adjectives or Adverbs
Pinch of context

Directions

1) Sift nouns into a bowl.
2) Peel verbs and cut into wedges. Mince punctuation. Combine with nouns.
3) Place conjunctions in a paper bag. Hammer them to bits. Add to mix.
4) Melt pronouns in a greenhouse. Swirl them into the mix.
5) Pour mix into an oddly shaped pan. Sprinkle adjectives/adverbs on top.
6) Bake halfway. Ignore context. Serves whoever.
 
 

Ode to Facebook?

Blogging
 
 
What makes flesh – flesh?
What else flows – like blood?
To what end – either – in a digital world?

I look at the profile I’ve concocted,
my self-rendered, global doppelganger,
and only recognize a spurious form of me
as if I’m staring at a photograph of myself
taken from an obtuse angle.

Yet I do not despair – the soul
has never been an accessible medium.
 
 

Today’s German Lesson (Humor)

Today we are going to learn some useful, everyday phrases in German. Repeat after me auf Deutsch and then in English.

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Hallo. Wie geht es dir?

Hello. How are you?

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Mir geht es gut. Danke für die Nachfrage.

I am doing well. Thank you for asking.

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Ist das nicht der Tag wunderbar deprimierend?

Isn’t the day wonderfully depressing?

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Meine Seele ist schwer mit Bedauern.

My soul is heavy with regret.

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Die Liebe ist verwirrend zu dem kleinen Kind aber klar, der Mann auf dem Totenbett.

Love is perplexing to the little child, but clear to the man on his deathbed.

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Früher haben wir in den Keller gehen und ziehen Trapeze in der Kohlenstaub.

We used to go down to the basement and draw trapezoids in the coal dust.

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Der Supermarkt abgebrannt. Wir verhungern.

The supermarket burned down. We starve.

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Bis morgen. Auf Wiedersehen.

See you tomorrow. Goodbye.

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