Aka Buzzfeed Quiz

Can I Guess Your Religion by Your Answers to These Five Questions?

You may be skeptical but I’d wager it can be done. Just answer A, B, C, D, or E below. And no none-of-the-above’s or what-have-you. That’s cheating.

 

bfq-1

A. Franz Kafka

B. Lizzie Borden

C. Gretel (but not Hansel)

D. The guy who invented the trebuchet

E. Jesus

 

bfq-2

A. Cinder block

B. Sieve

C. Wax warmer

D. Dyson’s sphere

E. 100-foot tall statue of Jesus

 

bfq-3

A. Six

B. 2i + 1

C. Eleventeen

D. The cosmological constant

E. Jesus

 

bfq-4

A. New Brunswick

B. San Bernadino

C. One of the Maldives

D. Seven miles off the coast of Laos

E. The comforting arms of Jesus

 

bfq-5

A. The soul gravitates from darkness to light

B. The primordial soup bubbled over into trees and dinosaurs and stuff

C. Everything is an illusion of the mind including the mind itself

D. That cake isn’t going to bake itself.

E. Jesus

 

bfq-r

 

Judging by your answers I’d say that you’re either a Born-again Christian or just some weirdo who likes taking quizzes. Amirite?

 

I’m a Recipe Blogger Now

word-salad

Ingredients

57 Nouns
23 Verbs
7 Punctuation Marks
3 Conjunctions
14 Pronouns
33 Adjectives or Adverbs
Pinch of context

Directions

1) Sift nouns into a bowl.
2) Peel verbs and cut into wedges. Mince punctuation. Combine with nouns.
3) Place conjunctions in a paper bag. Hammer them to bits. Add to mix.
4) Melt pronouns in a greenhouse. Swirl them into the mix.
5) Pour mix into an oddly shaped pan. Sprinkle adjectives/adverbs on top.
6) Bake halfway. Ignore context. Serves whoever.
 
 

Ode to Facebook?

Blogging
 
 
What makes flesh – flesh?
What else flows – like blood?
To what end – either – in a digital world?

I look at the profile I’ve concocted,
my self-rendered, global doppelganger,
and only recognize a spurious form of me
as if I’m staring at a photograph of myself
taken from an obtuse angle.

Yet I do not despair – the soul
has never been an accessible medium.